"Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you.I'd been broken beyond repair." -- Bella

..not only to Bella, it happened to me as well! hmm..

.a thought..

One of the hardest thing in life is watching someone you love, loves someone else.

..huhu!..

after 5 years, maybe i still not good enough for you, i can't fit you in anyways, i can't bow to any of your needs and maybe when you being with me, it makes you unhappy.. i wish i knew earlier, i wish i can retreat..

maybe we were meant to say goodbye, maybe i'll be better off WITHOUT YOU..
[i wish i can cry out loud now!]

Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss
then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so,
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone

You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone

You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

..Aidiflitri..

salam aidilfitri to ol my friends..di kesempatan ini, nOa yang vain (refer to attached images above) would like to minta maaf, zahir dan batin to ol silap dan salah sepanjang pergaulan noa wif anda, kawan2 saya sekalian..walaupun nOa is vain, but i m imperfect..i might had hurt ol of ya sexually (oh no..not ever!), physically (unlikely..), mentally (sometime, ouch!) and emotionally (definitely maybe..) so diharap maafkan nOa atas kekhilafan ini..

p/s: to my beloved rasheed..cinta, i love u..maafkan baby for ol the burden i endlessly caused u, and the selfishness and those intentional misunderstanding..i cinta u, n i can't help myself not to trouble u..but u know, deep inside i always believe that u deserve someone better..and i wanna be better..mmwaahhhxxx!

H1N1 alert, saya sendiri takoot~

after our weekly assembly today, we r plainly sentap knowing one of the senior was positively diagnosed with H1N1. oh saya apa lagik, i am a self-proclaimed health freak n hearing this breaking news, i tetiba feeling as if my body temperature is rising up to 40 degree C. sentapp okay.. though the casualty dah balik umah, but we are afraid if any one of us yang silently caught upp wif the influenza..it's like once the disease was first started at Mexico, i was scared but only maybe 1%. but today mcm up to 100% dah.. going for health screening tadik, saya sik malu lagik, pake jak face mask..a sky blue in color one (tsk tsk it doesn't match wif my shawl =( )

oh boleh la.. some people say the blue part of the mask should be the inner one, but saya sembat jak pakey it kat luar..x x besh la if we dun display th colored one kan..hehe..tok pun saya kuar ke dewan mbak muka plain, cz if i use the make pun still x nampak..so hopefully my eyes do the job, jadi aset terpenting this afternoon.

and i got a white-colored mask and a green one..so hopefully i will match them with my outfit tomorrows..if ada pinQ in color mask kan lagik besh..hmm..

..i am fasting..

yup, saya fasting, berpuasa

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dari shoppinK okay, huhu~

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but i'd like to say it is just my sacrifice, new career on training for a year is NOT something easy to get through.. i live on allowance only, and will be for a year.. with shopaholic like me (an acute one), this is a HUGE sacrifice for me..i can't withdraw my last wages as it had been used to compensate the previous company as i resigned on only 2-weeks notice..hutang saya sudah keliling pinggang, luckily mine is only 24-inches..i have to eat whatever it is provided, wearing worn out clothes and shoes, no new make up.. huhu, beggars cannot be choosers! that's it..(by the way, dat's just a cliche! hehe, a grrl like me is always armed with sufficient clothes, shoes and make up, no worry babes!)..i have to be really positive about this, for the sake of better future..

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however, life as student is so greattttt (minus the long hours of lectures, co-curricular in the afternoon and the ridiculous dress code, hmm~ guess it wasn't great after all)..but i can say most of the people are greattttt! as the institute was only like 200 km from my parents' crib, i can go bak whenever i am free on weekend, dat's the plus point..mom is happy when i am home, treating me with food after food at home, saya suka! i am not fasting from food after all, but only from shoppinK.. hopefully masa cepat2 berlalu, i can't wait to start new career..

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so, will update you babes soon with what i really think about this new career, from the alluring eyes of noalicious of course.. i dare not to promise, but i'll try my best! tata~~~

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xOxO~

..quickie..

i'll just post my quickie update now, since i am very uptight wif ma new schedule, new life, new routine..

* i am on leave rite now, n will be resigning from the company w.e.f 3rd July for a reason, and a sacrifice i can say.. luff ya d co. n d grrreat ppl!

* i am joining KPLI at the jiffy, something i never thought i wud ever do, but HERE I AM now. Lady luck had fell on my lap, giving me chance to start anew, am so glad! I juz can say that the career chooses me this time, and i believe this is the best. no regret!

~~wish me lucksssss ppl~~

xOxO