Friday, October 7, 2011

In My Shoes



Anyone wanna be in my shoes? Okay, lemme bring you how I wear my shoes, a pair of pointe shoes on a gravel roads. Versi kampung-kampung jer. Hmm okay, it goes like this. Me- Noa Hamrin, graduated from a uni, got an internship with a company where as the internship should be completed in 3 years with a very basic wages. But some how twas been shortened into 2 years. Nailed a permanent job in the same company, but was being relocated far far away from family. Twas no regret at all landing on the job, I love every part of it, fantabulous friends, flexible work scene, no uniform, skinny jeans all day long but the villain part is there- my boss and a group of need-to-grow-up bitches (read: fat!). and oh sorry, if you guys happen to read this. Then,  I felt bored, I need something new, something more challenging. Sat for an exam of a post-grads diploma to be a teacher. I did not revise anything at all, sempat shoppink2 with my babe, set rambut cantek2 before sit the exam. Good luck. I passed. Then attended an interview, with very lil preparation, Better luck. I got a place. Then the bad part came, I had to quit the job I "love",  and broke. Miskin gila that time, since I have to pay for the compensation of 2 months salary and at the same time I need some money to pay and pursue the diploma. 

Lived one years in a stranger lands, met up with fantabulous friends again. a very different scene from uni. Loads of assignments and everything else. And I experienced lotsa breakdown at the jiffy. After a year plus, we got posted to various places and holes and caves and mountains around Sarawak. And here I am now, teaching at a school near a river, with crocs. Sokayyy, no problem at all. Life changes from time to time, after a month working, I got engaged to the Love of My Life. And being a wifey to him 3 months after that. We are like a set of happy bunny, crazier to each other everyday and then, we were pregnant. A happy happy me broke the news to the world as early as my 6th week. But since hubby and me live a long-distance marriage, it means that we take care on ourselves most of the time. During the pregnancy, I do take care of myself. My way. Being actively doing home works in an OCD way, cleaning the house, sweeping, scrubbing the toilet, and cooking almost everyday on my own tho I stay with a house mate. And then the worse part happened, since the kampung that I live in has no clean water supply, I had to carry gallons of water everyday for my personal use : bathing, cleaning, drinking! A pregger yet I was very hardworking and strong than ever, It was the moment that I thought I can take care of myself. 

But unfortunately on my 11th weeks, I bleed which led hubby to rush over from Kuching to take care of me. The worst part was we miscarriaged at my 14th weeks. But for me, life goes on. I even attended my diploma convocation a day after my D&C, keeping myself cheery and happy as ever. But only Hubby knows how sad I am, cz either with him or me alone that I cried my heart out when the motherly feelings throb inside me. Going back to school, I continue to give my best and my not so best in teaching my pupils and serving my responsibility with few added work loads (that's supposed not to be mine-- okay, agak berkira di sini). And I believe I had done my best in doing my jobs. End of year, all teachers know and anticipate it's time for us to apply for relocation; for few familiar reasons like to be in a same place with your spouse (SO ME!!), health problems, family members need attention due to health problems, safety and death threats etc. I applied, filled in the form with lotsa hope (since I wanna badly to be with my Hubby, since we had been TTC for three months now and I am ready to be a pregger again). Sent out the form for verification of my superior, but yet he verified my application with the statement: THE APPLICATION IS SUPPORTED BUT THE TEACHER IS A NOMINEES FOR ENGLISH UPSR TEACHER 2012. Oh, kepalahotak betul, ko ingat this is a grammy award ada nominees-nominees? I nak pindah. 

SO HOW? 

Venci okayyy dengan orang-orang yang kurang consideration. Ya Allah, please guide me and lead me through all the test in my life, It is you and only you that i seek a help to. Amiiin.

I need to put back my feet on the ground, I need better shoes.


Sesuai untuk menari burlesque gitu :p



3 comments:

Aida The Pink Goddess said...

omg ur so strong, salute u, keep trying, u r officially my idol now! :)

Putri Qaseh said...

Hi dear, maybe this too late to post to you.I'm in your shoes too..May I know at the age between 11 ~ 12 weeks did your baby and heart beat visible or not.Since I'm in my 12 weeks of pregnancy now, but the doc diagnosed my baby not develop in other words (baby xmenjadi) he asked me to wait for 2 weeks, I don't have any cramping or bleeding at all and the sac just develops well with the age, just the baby is still not there.

Noa Hamrin said...

Awww..sorry for the very late reply dear :( I can't say more about this, I help you stay strong and babydust, may our wishes come true. Love!