Rezeki itu ujian

Cuti CNY dah over. So, now is time to back to reality. No more Noa in Wonderland. And somehow I rasa bukan macam Alice in Wonderland, coz tak adventerous sangat lah. Rasanya lebih kepada Queen of Hearts lah kadang-kadang. So this cuti, I heard one a not so good news. I have a girl cousin yang kawen on September last year, miscarriage jugak. It was the third time happened to our big family. First, it was my cousin E yang dah kawen rasa²nya masuk fifth year, dunno herself prego then suddenly turun darah. Then it was me, last year in my hujung² 12 weeks of pregnancy. and the latest is my cousin N. Kesian kan kami, tapi  kita harus redha. Ujian ujian.

I still remember, somewhere in the end of December 2011 hari tu, time seorang lagi my girl's cousin wedding, my aunty² dudok bersembang-sembang, then time I lalu depan dorang, they sarcastically *I supposed* asking me The Question,  just to compare me to this cousin N yang just announced that she was pregnant. Being I  an anti-social  a sopan-santun niece, I was trying my best to answer them politely that I am not a marsupial. Then dengan vangganya dorang bukak cerita yang N dah berjaya prego. Of course I terasa when being compared like that kan.  But, now see? The same thing happened to my cousin N. It's like, kalau dah ada rezeki tu, i just think tak payah lah ada pihak lain yang nak guna point tu nak hurt another party. Tak payah nak show off tanya² lah k, weols pun tgh berusaha. Kalau ada tu, the bump will show lah rite. No wonder time wedding tu, my cousin E sengaja 'away' dari hometown. Siap buat status kat FB lagi, lebih kurang macam ni, 'I m away, so hope semua yang gather tu happy. And if u guys plan to hurt me with The Question, saya dah maaf kan. Simpan aja niat uols tu'.

And, my point here is....rezeki itupun satu ujian. Either kita nak bersyukur atas kurniaan itu or sengaja bangga² n nak compare kan with others yang belum dapat rezeki tu. Rezeki itu pun satu pinjaman, bila² masa boleh kena ambil balik, I dah rasa and it takes time to rasa redha. Alhamdullillah, itu lah syafaat simpanan kami untuk akhirat kelak. Alhamdulillah sangat², ada ahli syurga yang menunggu :')

Dan bagi yang prego tu, I am happy for u guys. InshaAllah akan lahir insan soleh dan solehah nanti from uols. But I do think, to whine like everytime dalam your blog is so not WISE. Whining that uols stress, banyak kerja or whatever is kurang bersyukur bagi I. You know, that is your fairshare. You are carrying another life inside you, so takkan lah nak expect everything is the same like before kan. Some are willing to kill to feel the kicks inside their womb, yet you are blabbering this and that. Ingat, mesti syukur syukur syukur.

Lastly, baby dust to everyone yang TTC. Semoga kita pun dapat lahirkan insan soleh dan solehah jugak untuk menemani life kita. Allahumma amiiiin.

And yet, this is a pictureless entry. mak-mak ngerepak sekda berlukis bergambar indah koh.

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